Work
I fucking hate my jobs. I supposedly had this weekend off, but I have now been called in to work from 6 to 12pm at hess. So I will literally get off the bus from Burlington and have to go to work. Then I have to leave the house early tomorrow to get to Subway on time. Oh well fuck it. I havent seen Adam all weekend so Im still going to stay up as late as possible when I get home.
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You sit and see the fat that was never there.
The extra skin.
The bones fade away.
Your clothes feel like they are shrinking around you day after day.
And all I can do is cry, and cry.
I sit there and pinch and grab until my body is red and full of bruises.
That’s when I’m at my weakest.
That’s when the monster comes and knocks on my door.
She whispers,”Come on darling. Look at the weight you’ve gained. Why don’t we go get rid of that food inside of you.”
I shush and shush, waiting for the war to end.
kittens
Our cat just had 3 beautiful little kittens. sadly 2 of them have already died but 1 is still here.
If I could spread one thing and one thing only for NEDA
It would be that these are not willful disorders; they are debilitating diseases that wreck havoc one your body just like any other medical illness. Anyone with an eating disorder could tell you that they desperately long to be free of it, just a person would if they had any other disease.
I really wish that society better understood that.
Walking Paradox ✯: Day 2. What does recovery mean to YOU?
Ugh recovery is so complex. For me, it’s about finding the REAL me. It’s about finding my hunger cues, eating when I’m hungry, stopping when I’m full. Hardly weighing myself. Recovery does not exactly equal a certain weight for me, but it’s personally important for me to be at a healthy one….
